To My Dear Parents,
Mom,
I know that being raised as you were makes it difficult for you to understand "why" I am "doing" this. But who and what I am is not a simple "this." It is not a choice nor it is a way to punish you as though you were a bad parent. I just am who I am. Some days I do not like me, but that is life. I know that you love me and I know that who I love may seem odd to you. No matter how we may avoid it at the end of the day it will not change. But at the end of the day, I also know that you are proud of me and my accomplishments. If you could only see that my accomplishments are a direct result of that which has made me different, then I think it would all make sense. My knowing that I was different and disliked made me work harder for acceptance. Now I know the only acceptance I need comes from myself. I have to deal with how things stand and move forward. Maybe as we get older that is harder. Maybe, but that is where you are at, and if so, that is okay. I know you love me. I hope that you know that I will always love you.
Father,
I have no idea what is possessing me to write you. You have been dead since I was seven. I think part of it is that I know you would never accept me. The military man in you would be furious as you have always been. Confronting that brick wall of thought might be the only way I can think to forgive you actually. You were by far not as kind as you could have been. Nightmares of my childhood still hold me back to this day. Less often as time passes. I guess I want you to know that I do remember the good as well as the bad. I do not color my perception. So my hope is that other fathers will not color theirs when their children need them the most.
Thank you both for all that you did to help me learn and grow.
Your son,
Joe
"Behold I will send you Elijah...and he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children and the heart of the children to their fathers..." (Malachi 4:5-6; Doctrine & Covenants 2:1-3)
Intolerence and fear of homosexulaity--often fostered by religious instituions that claim to value the family above all else--causes painful rifts bewteen homosexual children and their parents. Often devout parents feel as if they have no choice but to distance themselves from their children--never realizing that this causes as much pain to their sons and daughters as it does for themselves. Children are often too ashamed, confused or frightened to approach their parents and share what is in their hearts. Years pass and the emotional separation becomes more profound. Too often Church leaders--claiming to uphold "the sanctity of marriage" and proclaiming the family a "divine institution"--only add to the problem, demonizing gays and lesbians. Many gays and lesbians withdraw from their parents and siblings, establishing completely seperate support communities for themselves; even then the pain of having somehow lost their parents continues.
THE ELIJAH WALL is aimed at the reconciliation of homsexuals and their parents; its objective is to turn the hearts of parents and homosexual children to one another.
OUR METHOD is for homosexuals and their parents to anonymously share on this blog their honest feelings; to express the things they've kept to themselves--usually from fear of rejection or condemnation.OUR HOPE is that others--homosexual children and their parents--will read the things written on this wall, and find in them the strength to reach out to one another.
OPEN YOUR HEARTS. Write what you would say to your parents or to your gay, bisexual or transgendered son or daughter; tell them that "one thing" that you would like for them to know about the pain you have suffered, the feelings you have had to hide and the love that you have left unexpressed.
YOU NEEDN'T REVEAL YOUR NAME or any other information about your identity. Simply write your honest thoughts and feelings, and send them to:Reformmormons@aol.comPosts may be edited for grammar, but not for content.
THE ELIJAH WALL is aimed at the reconciliation of homsexuals and their parents; its objective is to turn the hearts of parents and homosexual children to one another.
OUR METHOD is for homosexuals and their parents to anonymously share on this blog their honest feelings; to express the things they've kept to themselves--usually from fear of rejection or condemnation.OUR HOPE is that others--homosexual children and their parents--will read the things written on this wall, and find in them the strength to reach out to one another.
OPEN YOUR HEARTS. Write what you would say to your parents or to your gay, bisexual or transgendered son or daughter; tell them that "one thing" that you would like for them to know about the pain you have suffered, the feelings you have had to hide and the love that you have left unexpressed.
YOU NEEDN'T REVEAL YOUR NAME or any other information about your identity. Simply write your honest thoughts and feelings, and send them to:Reformmormons@aol.comPosts may be edited for grammar, but not for content.
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